There's a new exhibit in the Turbine Hall at the Tate: Sunflower Seeds by the noted Chinese artist and activist, Ai WeiWei. This is my attempt at a review. I say "attempt", as I couldn't get near the damn thing.

Sunflower Seeds is the latest installation being displayed in the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern. It consists of millions of imitation sunflower seeds, all handmade in China. The seeds carpet the area from wall to wall, like the floor of a Trail Mix factory after a horrific industrial accident. Visitors were encouraged to walk amongst the seeds, pick up a few even lie down in them. Hearing about this innovative, interactive and impressive undertaking (how's that for alliteration?) my first thought was how they were going to stop people stealing them, and how many spare bags of seeds they were keeping in a back room somewhere. The last thing they'd want to have to do is order more in from China. After all, they have to comission the artists, who have to hand craft each one. Then they have to gather them all together from the artists' homes. Ship them across the ocean. Bribe customs. It all takes time.

Aside from entertaining thoughts of theft, my second reaction was to make a joke about the origin of the seeds.
"Hehe, a million porcelain seeds? Of course you'd have them made in China."
"Ah, but that's my point." Says our erstwhile artist. "These seeds are each hand-made by skilled artisans. Its a commentary on our mass-production obsessed consumer culture that demands an endless supply of identical products at the lowest cost."
"Oh. Damn my western hubris!"
"Haha! I win! In your face Yankee!"
"But I'm from Leicestershire."
"You all look the same to me."

I knew I had to go take a look, especially seeing as I work just across the road from the Tate and could pop over during lunch. I went to take a look on Thursday, and unfortunately found the area roped off for "essential maintenance". Which basically meant some guy was raking it.

I found it more than a little amusing that a commentary on Chinese bulk manufacturing ends up looking like a Japanese Zen Garden. Add some stones and a water feature and it might be a peaceful place to spend a few hours. Inside the Turbine Hall of a former power station, which was originally anything but peaceful. The irony is delicious. Unlike the sunflower seeds. Which are inedible.

I figured this maintenance wouldn't take long, so returned the next day to experience the exhibit in full. Whereupon I was greeted by this notice:

Health and safety strikes again!

This is the problem with conceptual art, its all about the concept. No thought is given to the practicalities of adhering to EU regulations. I bet they didn't have this problem in China.

So once again, somewhat more finally, the exhibit was roped off, leaving a crowd jostling to take photos from exactly the same angle as one another. I felt myself wanting to be on the other side, not to experience Sunflower Seeds, but to observe the opposite display Hipsters and schoolkids behind a rope.

I took a brief look, and overheard a number of identical conversations about how anyone was expected to steal the seeds now, along with the occasional complaint that the "Guardian lied to us". Then I wandered over to the assorted information boards. One of which described the installation as creating an "infinite landscape". I imagine it would, if there wasn't a bloody great wall behind it.

So all in all, an interesting and thought-provoking idea, that could've been a hell of a lot more impressive if I'd got to experience it the way the artist intended. I couldn't help thinking it would seem so much bigger from the centre, and the work that went into producing these myriad tiny models would seem far more real if you could actually touch them. As it is, the idea of hand-painting millions of items to order doesn't seem as big a deal as it should. Especially seeing as its been done before, nearly twenty years ago when Kinder Surprise introduced the Crazy Crocos.

However, the piece has served as inspiration for a number of other artists. Just last week, a hundred million empty cans of special brew - hand drunk by Northerners - were installed in a park in Newcastle by the famed Geordie artist, Waye Aye Aye.