Well, it's been a pretty crazy week: banks collapsing, package holiday firms disappearing, the PM in trouble, and Microsoft confusing the hell out of everyone. Ironically enough, the only place where good things are happening is Zimbabwe.

Between out of work city boys, stranded holidaymakers and everyone generally running around tearing their hair out, the remaining few investment banks have come up with a plan to keep themselves safe. They are forming an intricate series of mergers, handshakes and loans that may or may not be to themselves in order to create a situation in which no government could possibly let them go under, lest the entirety of the British Isles is dragged down with them, sinking into the North Sea until the Japanese come along and reclaim the land as their own.

Meanwhile, 5000 people turned up at Lehman's on Monday to find themselves out of work and 400,000 people are fearing redundancy with the Lloyds HBOS merger (or takeover, or Pac-Man-eating-Ghost-thing, I don't get M&A). Not to mention jobs lost when all manner of other companies disappearing amid the chaos...like when you're in a hurry and lose your keys. And what headline did I see on BBC News on Wednesday?

"UK Unemployment Rises"

No shit, Sherlock!